They all say the same thing when they want to convince me they could date me: “I don’t understand what problem a guy would have with what you do. Your Burlesque is amazing, you’re very passionate about it, and if you were my girl I’d be so proud and showing you off all the time!”
As time goes by: “I don’t like all the attention you get from others. It makes my blood boil. All your adoring fans, your minions, why are you talking to that person? Why did they say that to you?”
It’s a typical scenario in the life of a Burlesque performer. Rather, in the life of THIS performer.. it isn’t just the Burlesque. I can hold my own in a conversation about hockey, life, pretty much any topic. I’m not shy, quite confident actually. I make friends easily, I roll with the punches (the venting and rants in blogs make it much easier to do this naturally) I’m outspoken, opinionated, I base my debates on fact, rational not emotional, I’m a straight shooter and I lay my cards on the table. This attracts them, and just as quickly draws out their insecurities.. even the ones they think they’ve masked with cockiness. They love my confidence and my ability to be myself until they realize it won’t make up for a lack of theirs.
"Oh wow, you’re really great! Hey wait a minute, I’m not the only one who notices you? This pisses me off! Instead of being straight up and telling you this, I’m going to get pissy about it. I’m jealous. I’m going to accuse you of flirting with the guy who agreed with your post about something completely unrelated to anything sexual such as a hockey stat or something ethical..anything that is slightly flirty will send me into a rage. Instead of asking what you mean by something I’m going to assume it was meant to piss me off, no matter how far fetched that might be; I’m going to in turn flirt with girls and post things that I know you’ll find offensive or upsetting, in hopes of getting your attention. Then, when you call me on it I’ll twist it into you being irrational and assumptive. I’ll accuse you of doing all the things I’m actually doing and play little mind games of this sort because clearly that is much more constructive that just saying hey, this is bugging me, can we talk about it?"
It’s a simple fact in life that one must pay for others appreciation of the effort put into being passionate and working hard at something and having confidence.
To those types I say this: Enjoy the after taste. I’ll try to notice you way down below in your bitter gutter when I’m so high at the top that you’re simply a spec. It will be hard to see you since I’ll be surrounded by those who have supported me along the way.. and my efforts will be minimal in the attempt.